THE LEGEND OF TENNESSEE MOLTISANTI

“It happens”

WHITECAPS

“When we was piss poor this was the biggest caviar wish we could come up with”.

For better or worse things change.  Picking up the pieces we step into this episode with Carmela sat in Dr Cusamano’s office with a thermometer in her mouth as Tony sits in the corner as patient as he can muster.  Elsewhere the day is also Christopher’s release from rehab while out in New York Johnny Sack is feeling the pinch at the hands of New Jersey.  Also struggling and stressing is Uncle Junior as he remains on trial now awaiting verdict.  He and the juror secured exchange fearful expressions.

Whitecaps it turns out is Tony’s present to Carmela.  An investment for the future, it is a house on the shore where they can go to get away from the stress of everyday life.  And following initial reservation Carmela comes round to the idea of luxury while posing as focused on the investment benefit.  Then during a middle of the night conversation she initiates him to push forward with the deal stating “more is lost by indecision than by wrong decision, that’s all I’m saying”.

Cutting to the morning Christopher is waiting outside the house to pick Tony up who comments, “Hey Jack Lemmon how’s Lee Remick?”  With a can of Coca Cola in hand Christopher swigs his healthy beverage while Tony quizzes him on his stay in rehab making sure that he is no longer on drugs.  It’s a crass question from a crass person.  Then he asks which of the twelve-steps he’s currently on.  With this he explains the only one he hasn’t done is to go round to all the people he fucked over while he was using and apologised.  Tony’s advice: “maybe you shouldn’t do that one and let sleeping dogs lie”.

Meeting Johnny Sack at an Office Depot Tony enquires where Carmine is currently at in negotiation regarding the esplanade.  They discuss their options and ways to move things on.  Tony asks Johnny what he can do for him as he responds, “I can take a sad song and make it better”.  Johnny Sack is scheming.  He wants change at the top and he wants Tony to execute it.  Throwing some points and numbers around they reach an agreement and hug.

Back in the car Tony reveals to Christopher the plan to remove Carmine.  His response is that Johnny Sack “won’t like that” at which point it is revealed it’s his decision, his strategic move.  He states that Johnny hasn’t been happy with Carmine since the slurs towards his wife.  Tony knew back then the lack of response/reaction was a mistake.  Christopher asks if it’s going down soon.  If he’s to buy the beach house Tony is going to require the esplanade scratch.  He states that it shouldn’t look like what it is.  It should be a home invasion, carjack or in growing toenail.  Christopher knows some black guys from Irvington.  That sounds like the right idea.  The instruction remains “it can never get out who whacked the old fuck”.

At the beach house Tony and Christopher look over the lay of the land.  With this the owner Alan Sapinsly sees them and asks if he can help them.  Tony reintroduces himself as they get into conversation regarding the woes of selling the place and the problems he is having with the current buyers (Dr Kim and his wife).  He doesn’t think they will be able to come up with financing but have still been given 30 days to try and raise it.  Making his own offer Tony says he can do 15 days and cash.  With this his picks up the phone and calls the doctor about to go into surgery.  As a litigator he has the knowledge the break the 30 day deal (“I can tort you into the poor house”).  Suddenly Tony has bought a beach house. 

“Let’s hold a good thought”.

News quickly gets to Carmela as soon the whole family are excitedly checking the place out.  Tony states “first time I felt good signing papers”.  In a shot that looks like a still from Woody Allen’s Interiors, Tony and Carmela look out at the house as he comments to Meadow and AJ: “you’ll inherit this”.  Naturally her response is “dad, what a thing to say”.  There’s a tangible sense that such a moment could not be too far away

Outside as dusk settles Tony and Carmela walk romantically in barefoot, hand-in-hand as his wife pauses in embrace to compliment “Anthony Soprano you are full of surprises”.  His response is “its good to see a smile on your face”.

A new day and Christopher is meeting with his “friends” in Irvington.  Bouncing a ball they enquire on his wellbeing and how the “12 Step shit” is doing for him.  Ironically these were people that “sold you H when they was your thing”.  Getting on with business Christopher states that it should look like a carjacking as the mocking response is “that’s some stereotyping shit”.  Carmine’s pattern is that he goes mall walking inside Kings Plaza Tuesdays and Thursdays 7AM.  With this a large envelope is handed over with a down payment.  “Next sound you hear”.

Then it all turns to shit.

Anthony Jr answers the phone “home of the burger, what’s your beef?”  On the other end of the line is a confused Russian lady.  “Tony?”  “No, this is Anthony”  With this the screen cuts to Irina in an open dressing gown with a phone in her right hand and bottle of vodka in her left.  She responds “oh yes, the handsome boy” as AJ replies confused asking who it is before Irina asks to speak to his mother.  Asking if she has “Mrs Sopranos” Irina introduces herself: “I used to fuck your husband”, a comment that acts like a stab into Carmela’s chest as she immediately hangs up.  Seconds later the phone rings again as Carmela screams down to AJ to say she has it.  This time know what to expect she goes on the offensive as Irina opens stating “Tony loves me, you know?”  Carmela asks what she wants as the Russian lady informs, “we have some sadness in common, he’s been sleeping with my cousin Svetlana”.  The angry wife informs the mistress that she is a “piece of shit” which Irina takes on board but counters questioning where that places Carmela in the pecking order.  “You call my house again, you ever speak to one of my children again, I will track you down and I will kill you.  We have got guns here, I mean it” is the response.  However undaunted by this Irina continues explaining to Carmela who Svetlana is, the final bombshell to kill the call.

Whistling happy Tony drives back to the house listening to “Layla” in his SUV only to find himself riding over his set of golf clubs in the drive.  In addition to this his clothes begin flying out an upstairs window as he enters the house wondering what’s up only to be met by flying shoeboxes hitting him from the landing.  “What the fuck are you doing?”  “You fucking shitbag”.

On cue Tony stomps upstairs as Carmela warns him not to go up and to get out the house.  She begins locking doors to get away from him.  “What’s the matter?  What did I do now, huh?”

With this the door flies open as a teary Carmela states “you have made a fool of me for years with these whores.  Now it’s come into our home?”  “What are you talking about?”  “The Russian called.  Your son answered the telephone”.

Suddenly Tony is on the back foot.  Almost cowering he states, “she’s insane”.  He goes defensive and in denial.  Then Carmela asks about Svetlana her cousin.  And soon the hurling of abuse becomes the hurling of arms as a physical struggle ensues until pinned against a wall Carmela shouts “let go of me”.

A stand off ensues.  Carmela tells Tony to “just get out Tony, don’t even say anything” while his response is “I’m not going anywhere and you know it”.  He tries to calm her with a hand on her shoulder as she spins around and slaps it away snapping “don’t you ever touch me again”.  She then begins listing past instances of Tony’s cheating and indiscretion (“you’ve had quite a time on my watch”) as he promptly snaps back “at least I never stole from you” referring to the $40,000 she took to purchase stocks.  Suddenly she is also denying.  With this Tony squares up to her taking the stance with which he usually deals with such opposition.  And Carmela knowing he cannot take this route calls his bluff daring “you wanna hit me Tony?  Go ahead”.

As another wave of calm arrives Carmela asks the age old question of cheated wives: “what does she have that I don’t have?”

Unable to answer this question Tony continues to deny having an affair with Svetlana stating that he “will take a polygraph to that effect”.  This isn’t enough for Carmela as she asks Tony to leave again before promptly breaking down.  Knowing there’s nothing he can do here Tony exits.

From here things cut to Tony banging on the door or Irina’s house.  There’s no response even when he threatens to kick the door in.  A few moments later Svetlana emerges on crutches dragging on a cigarette stating, “she’s not in” and how she’s probably at Brighton Beach.  She says Irina blames Tony for “ruining Zellman”.  After Tony beat him with a belt he felt weak in front of Irina and couldn’t perform.  With this she drops her cigarette to the floor and stubs it out with her crutch adding “they broke up not so long after”.  His response is a characteristic “oh fuck that”.  Tony asks who told Irina about Svetlana and him as it turns to be the employee that came across the pair of them and following a pay dispute gossiped to Irina.  Such a small thing prompted such a huge thing.  Attempting to shed some severity on the situation Tony explains how he now has to tell his kids that he and their mother are separating and how its “gonna rip them up”.  Remaining cool and stoic Svetlana offers “divorce is very hard for kids.  After this they don’t trust.  I’m child of divorce”.  Still attempting to deflect, spread and attach blame Tony comments “shouldn’t been drinking in the afternoon” before leaning on Svetlana with “how about a little sympathy here, what you got fucking ice in your veins?” before referring to her as “most expensive piece of ass I ever had”.  But acknowledging what’s now done is done she holds his hand and says “take care Tony, you’re a strong guy, you’ll be all right”.

Now night-time things cut back to Whitecaps where Tony carrying bedding and torch enters the house and beds in on the floor for the night.  With his feet hanging out the end of his blanket he gets up, opens a window and breathes in some much needed fresh sea air.

Meanwhile in the series other troubled and dysfunctional relationship Adriana gets in a car with Agent Sanseverino who asks how Christopher is doing (“that place was a godsend”).  She asks if the wedding is back on but things haven’t improved that much yet.  A pregnant pause occurs before a general update is discussed such as Tony buying the beach house and the still unknown whereabouts of Ralphie.  To this Adriana curiously adds that while Christopher was in rehab every five minutes Vito would be calling her to see if she “needed anything”.  Then essentially asking permission if she can go Adriana states “I’m supposed to be meeting my mom” and the agent grants her release.

Back at Whitecaps the owner sees Tony sleeping on the floor, knocks on the window and gestures “what’s going on?”  With a grand understatement Tony says “things aren’t very good at home so I came to sleep on my boat and it was being refinished and the smell of the paint…..”  Sapinsly states “I’ve been up to bat three times” as Tony explains they’re thinking of separating.  On cue ever the litigator he offers the advice that Tony should meet with all the top divorce solicitors in the area that way if worse happens none of them can take Carmela on as a client due to conflict of interest.  Tony is impressed.  But then the man insists Tony find a hotel until he takes possession of the house because it makes him liable.  Taking this on board Tony says “first let me tidy up a little”.

A little while later Tony knocks on the door of Sapinsly as his wife answers and welcomes him in.  Now with this thing with him and his wife, thinking it over in the shower Tony has decided now is not the time for him to be buying a house.  He apologises profusely and requests his deposit back so he can get out of their life.  Having turned down a buyer to accommodate Soprano, Sapinsly is naturally unhappy as he states he’s “not sure how your marital status negates the purchase”.  Attempting to play on emotions (and working on Mrs Sapinsly) Tony states how the purchase was for his kids and his wife.  This however does not work on Mr Sapinsly who states the house was on the market for a year and a half and they had two offers which he chose the Sopranos.  A brief friendly negotiation occurs as Sapinsly remains stoic while his wife sympathises with Tony.  Still smiling in his attempt at persuasion suddenly Tony’s phone rings with a call he has to take.  Retaining his manners he tells Mrs Sapinsly it was nice to meet her while maintaining to Mr Sapinsly “but I’m not buying your house”.  Once Tony’s out the door Mrs Sapinsly turns to her husband and states “that guy’s a mobster”.

Speaking on the phone outside it is Johnny Sack calling Tony to say he has just spoken to Carmine informing how he is now ready to settle.  However everything for the hit on Carmine is in motion which prompts the response from Sack: “welcome to my world” before hanging up.

Later on Tony and Christopher meet up in a park at two chess tables with Carmine and Johnny.  Carmine begins the sit-down addressing Tony’s situation with Carmela which he promptly cuts through stating he wants to get back to earning.  A big problem here too is Zellman.  Quickly a deal is brokered and the situation settled.  With this Carmine states how his son was a big help in resolving the matter that he would like that remembered when he is gone “but I’m not going no place” as Johnny Sack chips in “healthy as a fucking rhino this guy”.  It’s almost as if he knows about the hit.  With a smile Tony responds “you stay that way” going in for a second embrace.

Back at the Soprano house Carmela sits in the kitchen deep in thought as Meadow comes downstairs with school books in her hands.  The mum asks her daughter if she got any sleep.  With the response in the negative Carmela suggests that she maybe return to college.  Sitting down at the dining table with Snapple in hand Meadow says how she used to feel superior to other people and their fucked up divorced parents.  Now they are one.  Carmela empathises and says she used to feel the same.  Meadow expresses concern for the future and her family.  Carmela attempts to assure her it will be OK but it’s suggested it will be “predicated on bullshit”.  Lacking energy Carmela says she doesn’t want to fight.  By this point Meadow has teared up as she asks “it was cos of Furio, wasn’t it?”  Surprised by the subtly astute observation, Carmela enquires “who said anything about Furio?”  To this she adds “I have never been unfaithful to your father”.  Appearing to not entirely believe her Meadow comments “daddy was” as Carmela puts on the brakes and says “this is not something I want to talk about, I’m sorry.  Not now, not ever”.  Tearing up further Meadow gets up and snaps “Jesus, how could you eat shit from him for all those years”.

Elsewhere eating on his own at Nuovo Vesuvio, Tony makes for a tense stature.  In his customary style Artie comes over mid meal and gives his condolences as Tony nods silent before critiquing the food.  At this point Tony’s phone rings and its Johnny Sack announcing “fucking amazing, huh?”  Tony’s response is just “I guess that’s that” as cryptic as ever Sack responds “things have a momentum of their own” prompting Tony to echo his wife’s quote of “more is lost by indecision than wrong decision”.  Reluctantly Sack agrees as the call ends with Tony saying “you’ll hear from me”.  At this point Christopher arrives and sits down next to Tony.  He informs him that it was JS on the phone as Christopher confirms “we’re not on for Tuesday no more, right?”  To his surprise Tony responds “wrong” as Christopher seemingly shacks with excitement and grabs a glass of water seemingly to hide/disguise his excitement.

Back at the Bing Paulie is talking about Johnny Sack to Silvio.  Those two have history as Paulie lies “I always worked very hard to make him think I liked him”.  He even stretches his suspicion to saying he even thought Sack and Ralphie were in bed together.  With this Tony and Christopher arrive commenting on the Carmine situation (“we reached an agreement”).  Then as chat increases in typical fashion Paulie chips in on Tony’s relationship status saying “with all respect to Carmela I’d put her shit out on the kerb and let it rain on her”.  And as rough as the statement is Tony appears to almost agree commenting how much he paid for the house.

Further frustrating the situation Tony’s phone continues to ring as he complains and comments how they were better off years ago without them.  This call is from Alan Sapinsly regarding the beach house informing Tony he will let him out the purchase agreement however he will be holding onto the $200K deposit.  With this unacceptable suggestion Tony changes his mind and says he thinks will buy the beach house after all where his family will have parties until 4AM.  With this Sapinsly states he has been fair in not enforcing the sale or claiming damages prompting Tony to respond “damages haven’t started yet”.  Feeling threatened he states there’s a paper trail if a hair on his head is hurt as Tony resolves “you misread me entirely, you must think I’m fucking thug”.  The call ends “just be forewarned, you will not be getting your deposit back”.

On that sour note the episode returns to the Soprano house where Carmela is cleaning up the kitchen as suddenly she spots Tony behind her (“Jesus, you scared me to death”).  He goes to the fridge to get something as she prevents him, slamming the door shut.  “This is my house Carmela and I’m not leaving”.  Stern and stubborn she responds “get outta here Tony.  I asked you once, nicely”.  Through gritted teeth Tony apologises and assures it won’t happen again as once more he reaches into the refrigerator only to have Carmela force it closed.  Naturally annoyed he responds “make me” as she reveals her hand saying she has made an appointment with a lawyer and that she will get a restraining order.  Not taking her threat seriously he pulls out his phone and offers it to her to make the call.  Promptly she slaps it out his hand as he grabs her leaning onto her on the kitchen counter.  With things on the verge of becoming physical she states that AJ will be home soon and asks if he wants their son to see them like this.  Sticking to his intent Tony states “I’m not leaving here Carmela” to which she lashes out “I don’t love you anymore.  I do not want you.  You are not sleeping in my bed Tony.  The thought of it now makes me sick”.  In response to this he shoves off her and goes to the refrigerator as Carmela declares “Jesus Christ almighty I’m going fucking crazy” before running off upstairs crying.

With AJ now home we next see he and Tony carrying the theatre seats out from the home cinema to make room for him to sleep.  AJ quizzes his dad “mom’s gonna to let you stay out here?” to which Tony responds “let?  This is my house” adding “ain’t it better when I’m here?”  Noting the time Tony states how late it is for AJ to just be getting home.  He claims he was studying as Tony with hypocrisy suddenly becomes the person dishing out discipline.  He warns AJ that he’s going to be getting more involved now and that his son has to go easy on his mom now and she’s going through a hard time.  And on that note he sends his son to bed as he proceeds to inflate his own.

Unable to sleep on the temporary bed Tony tosses, turns and thinks things through analysing the situation to the point that he phones Christopher instructing to call off the Carmine killing.  “Something don’t make sense here” as Christopher wonders whether it’s a set up.  Tony’s not sure but has noted that their “friend” Johnny Sack is very anxious to “pass the ball, the prick”.  Tony adds that nobody must ever know the hit was being considered.  To stop it now Christopher says he’ll offer his guys in Irvington half of what they would have got to do it.  In response Tony closes the conversation stating “just make sure, I told you that”.

With this the next day Christopher meets up in a remote destination with his “friends” from Irvington bringing them a bag of money.  He reiterates they need to keep this quiet as the comment is made how one of the would-be hitmen has “a mouth like on a statue nigga” coupled with the confirmation “word”.  Now done the parties head off in their separate directions.  In their SUV the hitmen question whether Christopher has actually cleaned up while in honour among thieves tradition a further keep quiet lie is attached to their place in proceedings at which point Benny Fazio and Petey LaRosa burst along side and begin shooting the Irvington pair.  One even manages to get out the vehicle firing in the air but the job has already done.  In the distance Christopher listens to gunshots to ensure his own hit has been executed correct.  Then as Benny issues the final shots he grabs back the bag of money as they leave the scene with the now dead men’s SUV rolling into neutral into a wall.

Seemingly a world away Tony lies back floating in his swimming pool while Carmela watches from the kitchen.  Subtly aggravated by this she goes out to ask when he’s going to move the cinema seats away from the garage.  Questioning the nagging wife motive of the comment he asks “seriously?” as she justifies her point stating they will ruin the grass.  Tony shrugs this off with sarcasm as she continues moaning that she can’t switch the sprinklers on without ruining the seats.  Staying still Tony says he “get right on it” as Carmela remaining with her arms crossed asks “why do you have to make even this difficult?”  Now annoyed he questions her real motive asking whatever reason would she have to address this other than to “busy my balls?”  Then mission accomplished Tony gets out the pool in a huff to move the seats as her response is “fuck you” to which he snaps “that’s gonna to cost you $3” in reference to the swear jar scheme she was previously implementing.

While Tony dries off Carmela continues: “You know what Tony.  What’s done is done.  We are where we are and it’s for the best.  But just for the record or it might even interest you to know, that I might actually have gone on with your cheating and your bullshit if your attitude around here had been the least bit loving, cooperative, interested”.  Sniffing and grabbing his cigar Tony enquires “who idea was Whitecaps?” to which she shrugs “just a bitter version of an emerald ring so you can keep on with your other life”.  Tony states “you don’t know me at all” as she continues “I know you better than anybody Tony, even your friends.  Which is probably why you hate me.”  “Hate you?  Well don’t worry, I’m going to hell when I die.  Nice thing to say to a person headed into an MRI”.

Carmela follows Tony into the home cinema, his temporary lodgings.  She continues “you know Tony, I’ve always been sorry I said that.  You were my guy, you could be so sweet.  Nobody could make me laugh like you”.  Struggling with the sentiment Tony asks “Carmela, who the fuck did you think I was when you married me?  You knew my father.  You grew up around Dickie Moltisanti and your Uncle Eddie.  Where do you get off acting all surprised and miffed when there are women on the side?  You knew the deal”.  “Deal?”  “And your mother can talk all she wants about you know who and his chain of drugstores.  You and I both know the other boyfriend you were debating marrying was Jerry Twofey with his father’s snowplough business.  And we now know that wouldn’t have suited you at all”.  “You really don’t hear me do you?  You think for me its all about things”  “No, I forced all this shit on you”.

“You are so fucking hateful”

Carmela moves to a different part of the room and gears up to hit Tony with a fresh slight.  She begins “can I tell you something Tony?” as he snaps “don’t pretend like I gotta choice”.  She turns round and begins “the last year I have been dreaming and fantasising and in love with Furio”.  And as things take a total soap opera turn Tony faces her laughing in disbelief.  “Every morning when he’d come to pick you up I would look forward to it all night long in bed, next to you.  Those nights you were actually in the bed.  And when he would ring the doorbell my heart like it would come out of my chest.  He would smile and we would talk.  And then you would come down the stairs and I felt like probably like somebody who is terminally ill and somehow they managed to forget it for a minute.  And then it all comes back”.

With this Tony lunges towards Carmela raising his fist punching several holes in the wall rather than in his wife.  As she sweeps aside he responds: “He talked to you.  Oh poor you” to which she lashes “he made me feel like I mattered”.  Glaring he says “you asked the other day what Irina’s cousin has that you don’t have.  And I thought about it because it’s a pretty fucking good question.  And yeah she’s sexy enough even with the one pin gone but that’s not it.  I could converse with her cos she had something to say!”  Naturally Carmela responds “I am here.  I have things to say”.  “Beside did you bring the chairs and did you sign the living trust?  She’s a grown fucking woman that’s been kicked around.  And she’s been on her own.  And she’s had to fight and struggle”.  “Unlike me, is that it?  Who the fuck wanted it like this?  Who the fuck pissed and moaned at just the idea of me with a fucking real estate licence?”  “Free to sit back for twenty fucking years and fiddle with the air conditioning.  And fucking bitch.  And complain.  And fucking bitch, bitch bitch to me, to your fucking priest.  Fuck it!”  And having said his piece he walks away.

“Who knew all this time you wanted Tracy and Hepburn.  Well Tony, how about the other thousand fucking pigs you had your dick in over the years.  The strippers, the cocktail waitresses.  Were you best friends with all of them too?  You fucking hypocrite”.  And with that Carmela walks out the room.

Resuming things in court Uncle Junior sits outside with Janice and Bobby waiting to be called in for a verdict.

Then a quick cut to another world sees Dr Melfi’s telephone ring as she says goodbye to a client.  On the other end is Tony unable to talk, to express himself.  The call ends and she promptly presses *69 to discover it was from a blocked number.  However you sense she knows it was Tony as an expression of disappointment emits.

Now in the courtroom Junior sits awaiting his fate as the judge reports that the jury remains hopelessly deadlocked.  The juror on their side remains refusing to deliberate and “can’t be reasoned with”.  With time now passing Junior’s lawyer pushes once more for a mistrial and that the government gives another Allen charge to go back and try again.  The judge doesn’t think this we change anything and with that the jury is called back into the room and addressed.  Hopelessly deadlocked he reasons to having no choice but to call a mistrial.  He tells them they have “performed a valuable service” and that they may be excused.  This is a good result and outcome for Junior as hugs are promptly exchanged.

Outside the courtroom the jury is released back into civilisation as Junior’s guy attempts to bid farewell on a good note only to have one lady state on the birth of his granddaughter she “wouldn’t want to think of you that day”.

Back at the Soprano house while Tony sits watching war documentaries, the speakers from the system are being taken away by two soldiers as AJ enters and sits beside his dad.  He promptly asks if he can move in as naturally Tony asks what’s wrong with his room.  Carmela is on the warpath, on his case persistently.  Accepting the situation Tony again defends his wife to his son and difficult time she is experiencing.  But AJ does not think this is fair stating “why do I have to get stuck with her?”  Annoyed now by his son Tony can see the situation but insists “you’re not staying in here.  Get that right outta your head now.  It would hurt her feelings you don’t want to be in her part of the house”.  With this Tony’s guys come back for the other set of front speakers.  With this Tony resolves, “you can come in and watch TV with me here but you can’t stay” as he reaches into his pocket to give AJ some money to buy a CD and some flowers for Carmela.  This is clearly his answer for everything.  But he realises this is not how things can go on.

Cutting back to Uncle Junior he returns home with Janice and Bobby as she suggests throwing a party to celebrate the trial outcome.  Junior is not in the mood.  He makes modest suggestion of pizza but clearly just wants quiet.  He adds “I don’t suppose Tony would want to come with what’s going on at that abattoir”.  After ordering the pizzas Bobby and Janice dance singing “I Got You Babe”.  This niggles Junior as he orders Bobby to go downstairs and check whether an envelope has been delivered.  When he next looks back Janice is giving him a disappointed look.

Back at the beach house Stugots arrives at Whitecaps and drops anchor.  With Tony’s home cinema speakers now on deck, Benny and Petey settle in.  With this the camera cuts to the Sapinslys hosting a dinner party suddenly being interrupted by the sound of Dean Martin performing at The Sands Hotel.  The strains of “Drink To Me Only” begin.  Sapinsly grabs a pair of binoculars and sees the name of the boat is Stugots as he immediately clocks this is Tony’s boat commenting “fucking goombah trash”.  The sound of the stereo seeps into their dinner party and uncomfortably drowns out thought.  This is the damages Tony threatened.

Resuming the Carmine situation Tony and Johnny Sack meet up at night in a dark, remote corner.  Sack is smoking while waiting as Tony apologises for arriving late.  He says he was interviewing divorce lawyers as Johnny jokes that he always asks himself if it’s worth it financially as Tony refers to him and Ginny as “the old married couple”.  “Marriage can be very hard work if both aren’t pulling at that load” to which Tony nods at with a smirk.  Getting serious Johnny asks “I was wondering, why the delay?”  Tony hasn’t told him: “I was gonna call you.  You’re not gonna be happy.  I’m out.  Whacking the boss is bad for business.  And now that he’s settled….”  This was not in Sack’s plans.  He says “this is very disappointing”.  Tony attempts to solute offering “he’s old man, you’ll get your time soon enough” as frustrated and subtly angered Sack responds “don’t go into coaching Tony, it’s not your strong suit”.  Then less subtly angered he begins ranting regarding his real feelings towards Carmine and his son.  Tony resolves “I shouldn’t be hearing that”.  As annoyance flows and Sack expresses a sense of being let down by Tony he offers “John, I still consider you a dear dear friend”.  You sense the feeling is not mutual as without words Sack calls an end to the meeting prompting the customary embrace and return to their vehicles as the man from New York glares at the man from New Jersey as he heads off.

Back at the Soprano house Carmela is in the kitchen grating while AJ watches something on TV.  As Tony steps in carrying a bag she comments she didn’t realise he was in.  He responds saying he was just collecting a few things.  Calling a meeting Tony tells AJ to turn off the TV and come into the kitchen.  With this Tony says he’s been thinking about things and living in the home theatre coming to the decision that it’s probably not a good idea.  At this point Meadow comes down the stairs with her used plates and cutlery.  She has been clearly hiding in her room.  She asks what’s going on as Tony announces that he’s just telling everybody that it’s probably better if he doesn’t live in the house anymore.  As Carmela remains cross armed and frosty the kids react upset as AJ asks “because I wanted to stay in there with you?”  This is surprise news to Carmela.  Tony assures this is not why as he calls him over for a hug.  Tearing up Meadow asks where he’s going to go as he responds “don’t worry about it” as she comes over for a hug too commenting “you should go back to counselling”.  Tony responds “its better this way” as Carmela adds “he’s making the right decision.  He’ll get a place, we’ll go and visit.  It will be better.  You’ll see”.  Attempting to remain positive AJ adds “you guys could still get back together maybe, right?”  “Sure” says Tony “we’re still close”.

In her room Meadow sits down on her bed weeping thinking with a flashback to bratty behaviour in past seasons.  Meanwhile in the main bedroom Tony puts a Fila cap on his head before taking a final few items from the cupboard as Carmela steps in watching over his exit.  Their closing exchange is Carmela offering, “be careful” as he informs, “I’ll be at the Plaza”.

As he gets in his SUV outside, AJ watches from the door.  Then he has gone.  Stood behind him is Carmela who offers a hand on his shoulder which fails to confide him.

Back at the beach the Sapinslys tentatively take seats in their garden for a night time tipple as they look out at Stugots with apprehension.  The inevitable occurs as a recording of Dean Martin screams from the boat.  The comment “you’re not drunk if you can lay on the floor without having to hold on” prompts Mr Sapinsly to shout “fucking gangster asshole” as his wife reacts pissed off.  He instructs her to “call the police” as she states “they’ll just turn it down when the police comes”.  With this she points out Tony can pay the $200 fines forever before begging her husband to give Tony back the deposit before storming inside.  Briefly he muses on the moment before following her back into their house closing the windows once inside.  And with the strains of Dean Martin singing that he loves Las Vegas “because my girl’s here” season four of The Sopranos comes to close.

ISABELLA

ISABELLA

As the first season of The Sopranos crashes to a conclusion it does so to the strains of Nottingham band Tindersticks.  It feels a most odd act to have on the soundtrack for the mob battlefield of New Jersey but in capturing the moment and mood of the piece “Tiny Tears” from their second album proves perfect.

Arriving at the penultimate episode of the season Tony is not in a good way and it has not gone unnoticed.  Amidst word of an FBI informant in their ranks Pussy has gone missing and life in general is catching up on Tony.  And now Melfi has him on medication.

It begins at a funeral.  The deceased is an old lady called Mariolina Capuano.  Jimmy Altieri is around saying things he shouldn’t to Uncle Junior much to his chagrin.  Within seconds things cut to Bada Bing where Silvio and Christopher are discussing Tony’s condition.  Depression is offered as the reason/cause as Silvio compares his state to Churchill and Napoleon (thus comparing his own boss to said leaders).

Back at Casa Soprano Carmela is asking Tony if he needs socks.  Soon their exchange descends into an argument as she tells him to snap out of it, yanking open the curtains (the drapes) letting the light in on the day (“sunlight is good for you.  In Alaska they use light hates so they don’t get depressed”).  Now disturbed Tony gets up out of bed and enters the day looking out his bedroom window and spotting a mysterious beautiful lady in the garden next door hanging out the washing, much like his family is currently airing their dirty laundry.  It is a very gusty and windy day making the job difficult and exposing the mystery lady slightly but for the job of getting things clean it is effective.  As Tony looks on gawping and giddy for him this is a rare vision/glimpse of beauty in stifling and tough times.  This is Isabella.

From here with the Tindersticks in full flow we cut to Tony stepping into his bathroom getting his medication (Prozac and Lithium) from the cabinet coupled with a lingering shot of a pink toothbrush, a very feminine image, as he downs the pills and drifts off.  In the process he looks at his reflection disjointed and barely recognisable.  Confused with his eyes rolling he takes perch on his toilet and mentally drops.  It’s an Elvis death.

Returning to the funeral Junior is stressing.  His guys Mikey Palmice and Chucky Signore are late arriving as he admonishes them for leaving him alone to deal with “Pork Chop Boy” (Jimmy Altieri).  With this settling/calming things down Palmice informs Junior that they have set up “the thing” to happen tomorrow (“black guys, it will never leak back”).  Now somewhat happier in distracted fashion Junior looks at the deceased lady in near celebration commenting “Mariolina, gave me my first hand job.  God, what is this man saying at this poor woman’s funeral?  Attempting to bring things back on topic Palmice continues to ease Junior’s mind regarding the hook as he observes a boy looking at his prayer cards, a boy that looks like a young Tony, his nephew.  With guilt Junior comments “thousands of bucks for Honus Wagner and jack shit for Jesus” before adding “guy spills his guts on some fucking shrink’s carpet” half justifying, half denying his decision to whack Tony.  With this Palmice continues to fill Junior in on the details until out of annoyance he snaps “enough, I don’t want to hear anymore.”

Back home the time is now 2.30PM (tooth hurty) as Christopher updates Tony on the lack of information on Pussy’s whereabouts.  As he continues to discuss Pussy Tony soon tells him to stop.  With that Tony heads downstairs and finally gets dressed.

Stepping out into his garden the gales remain as he notices a slip on the grass.  Without hesitation he picks it up and sniffs it, he remains an animal.  Despite being depressed Tony is still smart, smooth and charming as he heads next door to return the garment and make his introduction.  It turns out his neighbours the Cusamanos are in Bermuda playing golf while Isabella house sits.  She is reading “Principles Of Oral Surgery”, a clear connection to both the pink toothbrush in his cabinet, the clock on the wall and Tony’s health in general.  He comments “if my dentist looked like you I would stay away during a root canal” which looks like a variation on something he might say to Dr Melfi as he attends to a different set of roots with her.  With that their exchange ends with her sitting down returning to her book all dressed in white, pure in both appearance and conduct.

At this point Tony heads out to town in his SUV with Christopher trailing him keeping tabs.  At the newsstand Tony buys a newspaper under the watchful eye of both Christopher and his would be assassins (John Clayborn and Rasheen Ray).  To all this Tony is oblivious, his medication has taken/stolen his edge and street smarts.  And while Chris and the hitmen clash outside he skulks around like Frankenstein’s monster entering Montclair Physicians’ Suites.  In his medicated state with this vision Tony is the physical embodiment of depression and a broken man.

With this we cut to Junior leaning out the back of his car and vomiting.  Suddenly it becomes evident this is tomorrow and the hit was supposed to go down but did not (“apparently a civilian got in the way”).  Unwittingly Christopher just saved Tony.  The fixer Donnie Paduana arrives to explain what happened with fresh assurance of it now happening tomorrow.  In conversation Paduana makes light of the rumour Livia arranged the hit prompting Junior to order him hit for having a big mouth.  After Palmice performs the deed they pass the car he was shot with Junior looking on in horror.  He is an uneasy man.

In session Dr Melfi begins by asking Tony if he is still taking the Lithium.  She says the intention is to give him a kickstart/jolt to the system.  He exhibits doubt of its effect stating that he “don’t feel nothing…I feel dead and empty”.  There is however one thing: Isabella.  Focusing on the bleak he offers the declaration “I’m like King Midas in reverse here, everything I touch turns to shit” before expressing doubts of his own being “I’m nothing”.  Melfi suggests that if he feels that way Tony should subtly section himself for some rest and relaxation (“into a laughing academy?”).  This idea is naturally rejected.  With this dismissal Melfi states then instead she will increase his Prozac dosage to 60mg.

After the session Tony collects his medication from the chemist and bumps into Isabella.  She has just finished class having bought a sandwich for lunch.  Confused by what she has actually purchased Tony displays his wealth and class taking her to a high end restaurant for lunch.  She asks him if he has ever been to Italy (the motherland) to which he responds “no, I never got off my ass” as she asks where his people are from.  From here she tells him about a house in her town that survived an earthquake due to its foundations (much like his two families).  At this point Tony states that his grandfather was a Stonemason (a member of a secret society).  To this Isabella adds that the earthquakes mean now there a no longer as many houses left (much like the Mafia with the FBI).  She adds how in her hometown there is a church where the bell rings whenever a baby is born and with this Tony drifts off to a vision of her sat in a rocking chair holding a baby as church bells ring in the distance.  Isabella looks up and acknowledges the viewer (Tony).  This is the mother figure he never had.  Returning to reality (to the restaurant) Isabella asks the spaced out Tony “are you on medication?” which he denies before changing the subject asking her further about her dentist studies.

Cutting to the evening back home Meadow is seen calling upstairs to Tony announcing dinner as A.J. comes running downstairs.  Livia is visiting for dinner as Carmela forces A.J. to pull her seat out for her even though it is only her status that commands this (not her personality).  At this point Tony emerges from an unexpected direction/room still wearing his bathrobe and bed clothes.  He gives his mother a peck on the cheek as she comments about his smell as he responds “I really don’t need that right now ma” in the manner of a neglected and wounded child prompting the comment “aren’t we being sensitive”, the opposite of what is need at this time.  There are two bosses at this table jockeying for position of head.  And the wrong one is winning.  It turns out that Junior was supposed to attend also but he wasn’t feeling well.  As the chicken is passed around Meadow states that during its lifetime the average chicken’s legs do not touch the floor to which A.J. reacts “that’s dicked up” causing Livia to comment “if you used that language (around me) I’d slap your face” both treating him how she treated Tony and sending out another message that she is the alpha at this table.  Speaking further she states how she read about a woman in Pennsylvania killed herself and her three children in a fire.  But isn’t she the one that has called for the killing of her own son?  At this point she asks Carmela why Tony is still in his bathrobe more to emphasise the wrinkle than explain it.  Unhelpfully Meadow trivially states that “he is depressed” further emasculating Tony prompting him to head back up to bed causing Livia to begin crying further manipulating the situation.  “This is the last time; I am never coming back to this house”.  And if Tony gets whacked it probably will be.

New day rising and the wind remains heavy as ever as Tony looks out his bedroom window at Isabella stood in the Cusamano’s back garden.  At this point Carmela steps in commenting “what a day, with this wind huh?”  She then asks what he is looking at before getting a full view of Isabella, asking who she is.  Tony admits to having lunch with her prompting an argument and Carmela laying into Tony snapping “if I had an ounce of self respect I would cut your dick off!”

With the wind (of change) growing heavier we cut to a hat blowing down the street past Junior and Livia where they are wrapped up in a cinema queue for its everyday $3 matinee.  Here Livia comments on dinner at his son’s last night and how Meadow and A.J. “barely have a father now” which is quite rich considering her own parental skills.  As she keeps commenting and sticking in the boot an ill at ease Junior retorts “I don’t want to know” instead stating “some bargain ($3), that’s all anyone should pay for a movie”.  Junior is from better times.  Oblivious to this in continuation Livia compares Tony to looking like her cousin Kiki after having a lobotomy (“empty shell, better Kiki had died than going on living like that”).  This woman really feels justified in killing Tony.

“Can you hurt someone so much you’re supposed to care for, someone you said you’d always be there for”.

With that “Tiny Tears” rears back into proceedings as an above shot of Tony in bed slowly pans down in dizzying and woozy fashion.  It’s the disorientating angle of when life you feel sick and about to vomit.  It is what it almost induces of the viewer at this time.  And when his maid enters the room he responds with a bunt “go away!”

In a daze Tony gets up and heads out into another windy day towards town buying a racing post and bottle of Tropicana orange juice at the newsstand before returning to his SUV and spotting a man in his wing mirror approaching brandishing a gun.  With this the first shot is fired getting his drink as the second take out his driver side window as the lull of the music ceases and he snaps into action wrestling with the first hitman as the second rushes up and declares “you’re dead now motherfucker” managing to take out the passenger side window, Tony’s ear and his hitman partner with one shot.  Out of instinct Tony starts up his SUV and grabs the second shooter’s gun and manages to keep it pointed away from him while speeding off until the second gun man finally falls to the wayside as Tony briefly delights in his escape before ploughing straight into a parked car knocking himself out cold.

In the aftermath the episode cuts to Carmela, Meadow and A.J. running through a hospital corridor to check on Tony.  While getting his ear stitched together he jokes with Meadow about it being just a failed carjacking before asking A.J. “what’s the matter with you?  Forgot how to talk because your old man got banged up a little?”  Banged up – interesting terminology at this time.  With this they leave as Agent Harris steps in with feeble offers of protection off the back of what was an obvious assassination attempt.  Carmela sees this too.  She thinks they can get out but they can’t.  Ever buoyant Tony stands tall as the father figure while in the hall Meadow sits worrying as A.J. scoffs a sandwich (“God, self involve much?”).  And at this point Silvio and Pauly arrive as Tony’s other family also stands by his side - “Takes more than a Jamaican bobsleigh team with a couple of cap guns to stop your old man”.  With that they go in to see Tony as A.J. concludes to Meadow “I don’t believe it was a carjacking”.

Having made the news word soon gets out that it was a “gangland execution gone awry” as both Junior and Livia watch the news report on TV with very different reactions.  Naturally Junior is worried/scared (“I feel like I’m floating in space”) while Livia quickly changes her tune with the reaction of “he’s my only son” as she suggest that they visit him.

Now back home everyone is making a fuss of Tony.  Despite his injuries he is rejuvenated, the incident sparked/reignited something in him.  Silvio and Pauly are already around him as soon Christopher is joining them as it is said the surviving hitman is said to have drive off in a Taurus which he links with his little bout of road rage (his beef) a couple of days earlier.  The pieces slowly come into place.  On that note Carmela returns as the guys all celebrate Tony.  Christopher declares “he’s like a father to me”.  At this point Junior and Livia arrive just his men tell Tony “it had to be your uncle, right?”  As suspicions rise so does the threat of tension and repercussion so quick on her feet Livia conveniently forget who Meadow is.  Is she losing her mind?

With Tony now an endangered man he soughts a late night meeting with Melfi in a car park asking/checking whether she disclosed his treatment to any third parties prompting the subsequent questioning his authority.  Of course she has not, she’s a professional with ethic, she’s a good egg.  Satisfied with her admission he further defends his mother as being the blabbermouth, the culprit but it was her.  With this conversation picks up as Melfi asks him how he is feeling and he smiles “pretty good” commenting on the recuperative powers getting a jolt to the system, “a nice kickstart”.  He takes back his previous comments about not wanting to live and that in the height of the moment he says “I didn’t want to die.  Every fucking particle of my being was fighting to live”.  He comments how he had lunch with Isabella and his vision (his mind’s eye) stating how it was the parental fantasy he always desired.  Soon Carmela arrives to pick him up as elsewhere A.J. and his date are escorted to the school dance by Silvio and Pauly.

Elsewhere at Green Grove Junior storms in on Livia (looking for her slipper under her bed) asking what she was doing yesterday forgetting her granddaughter.  She denies faking her gesture (“I don’t know what you’re talking about”) as exasperated Junior storms off.

Back at Tony’s he goes into his backyard where Dr Cusamano is raking up leaves.  Seeing him Tony asks where Isabella is but he doesn’t know what he is talking about.  Then inside he asks Carmela if she saw Isabella to which she angrily responds to accusation of threatening to cut off his dick.  With this realisation that there was no Isabella, that she was just a hallucination, he telephones Melfi somewhat peeved as she tells him to discontinue the already flushed Lithium.  Forever the analyst Melfi further analyses/reviews Isabella and what she represented asking Tony if he ever flirted or came onto her.  He didn’t.  Melfi continues asking “why now?” highlighting the need for a maternal figure in his life.  She asks him hoe he is feeling and he responds “I feel pretty good actually.  When I find out who took a shot at me I’m going to feel even better”.  The episode cuts and ends with “I Feel Free” by Cream.

For me “Tiny Tears” has come to represent the song that accompanies the droned out depressed and misery that Tony inhabits in this episode.  It is now an anthem.